Here’s the thing, it haunts you, it feeds off you, it always reminds you, that nothing is okay. I just can’t figure out why, my mind keeps on doing this, I always think myself into a bad mood. It’s unhealthy, and I feel like it’s killing me. It makes me push people away, and it leaves me alone, to over think, BUT I MEAN THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING SAD RIGHT? The more i try and get my mind off things, the more things i start to think about, lmao. Talking about it hurts, not talking about it, destroys you. I CAN NEVER PUT MY THOUGHTS INTO WORDS AND THAT’S EVEN MORE FRUSTRATING.
You know how some people apologize for like everything, maybe it’s because they feel like everything they do is a burden, even their existence. You know what sucks, when you don’t know what to do, when you’re supposed to be helping people out, but instead you’re sitting doing fokall everyday. And now that exams are coming up, it’s just more bullshit, i mean wtf does school even teach us? How to memorize 10 chapters in 2 weeks? I just spend hours staring at some stupid text book, that i feel isn’t helping me with anything, and it’s just making me feel more shit, but guess what, we just have to deal with it, because nothing else matters right? NOTHING MATTERS EXCEPT GETTING AN A. Why is it, that our whole future, depends on how well we do in school?!
I’m just so fed up with everything, and for all of you out there, i hope you all end up doing what you love, and spend your time, being happy, with what you have, and just forget about the stupid little things. It’s so much easier said than done “just forget about it”, it’s never like that, how do you forget about something that constantly haunts you, something that never leaves the back of your mind. We don’t understand how much we affect other people, it’s crazy to think about, just a small hangout, or a meaningful convo, could change that person’s outlook on so many different things. Just find people who are as fucked up as you, and be yourself with them, and don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not good enough, because you are you, and you should be loved for who you are. Don’t ever give up, on the people who gave you a reason to smile at the world, cherish your every moment, for time seems to be running out.